Sculpting Pride: freeing the inner auntie in racialised queer qualitative sport research

This paper is the retelling of a qualitative research journey that began with firm intentions and desires, but got lost and mired by the academic pressures and forgetting who the research was truly by and for: the racialised queer and gay men who are the heart of it. While they used their gym time to prepare their bodies for Pride, I expose researcher mess and disorientation. Through this, my deeper idea of an inner Auntie, a loving but firm voice of reason that aids racialised queer men to be the best versions of themselves, will be arising from the process of doing qualitative research. This phrasing then decentres Whiteness, distances itself from homonormativity, and acknowledges racialised queer culture and heritage. This new framing of inner Auntie also becomes a reflexive validation guide in doing qualitative research. Ultimately, the participants saw me through the disorientation, helped me reach a turning point, and oriented me towards my desires in how to be a better researcher. This is an introduction to other physical cultural researchers as an innovative way to conduct qualitative research in sport. It is also an offering of gratitude to the people I met in this research. May their lives continue to inspire others.